Hello my Brosefs and Sheologians, I know you need a few more conversation starters with those Arminian friends of yours.
That's why we roast coffee so divine:
It Chooses You.
The journey to becoming reformed is long and difficult. First comes awareness, then denial, then hatred for the doctrines that oppose all you believe. Then comes begrudging acceptance, and finally love and enjoyment...
Here at Reformed Roasters, we want to expedite this process... so we've written this helpful primer on how to serve Reformed Roasters coffee to your Arminian friends.
First, you've got to start with a full pound of the "Total Depravity Blend" ... Because Men Love The Dark Roast. Once they're drinking depravity down like water, only then do you hit'em with:
"Limited Atonement... the roast"
Limited Atonement?... Yes
Limited Flavor?... No way
The Limited Atonement Roast is totally sufficient to appeal to everyone's tastes... it just doesn't. Or maybe you're more gently reformed - one of those three or four point Calvinists - that just needs a little morning pick me up – then you might need our breakfast blend:
"Perseverance of the Saints... Your Daily Great Awakening"
If Reformed Roasters isn't one of the best cups of coffee you've ever had…
Many are called, but few are chosen.
It's our joy to keep you well caffeinated as you strive to make your coffee and election sure... but we want to do more. So we donate 20% of our bottom line directly to Heart Cry Missionary Society...
Every single bag of coffee is whole bean, a full 16 ounces, and shipped next day, with FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OF $40 OR MORE. Every bag is sealed until the day of our Lord Jesus Christ... or you decide to open it.
Your Brother in Christ,