For a Truly Christian Beverage That Fools the Devil Himself...

Hey Brohams & Sisters,

Though I'm quite the Reformed Protestant, I have to give Pope Clement VIII some serious compliments.  He was TOTALLY right...

About coffee.

Coffee was an entirely Muslim drink for centuries.  It started in Ethiopia, but quickly traveled across the Red Sea (like Moses) to Yemen.  The first port in Yemen is named Mocha... yes, MOCHA... the word that's now synonymous with a general chocolaty flavoring - is actually coffee's first port of call on the way to the Middle East.  Very quickly, coffee beans became a trade item across the entire Muslim/Turkish world.

And any caught smuggling beans to a non-Muslim country were... of course... given a gentle reprimand.

No - actually, they were killed.

That is until a Sufi Mystic (A charismatic subset of Islam... I think they would be analogous to the snake-handling Pentecostals of Christianity) was able to smuggle out 7 beans to Southern India.  Then in 1616 the Dutch got coffee plants to grow in Ceylon, then Java, then Sumatra...

Before long the Christian world was aghast at this "devilish Moslem brew"... that, as Sir George Sandy put it, was "black as soote, and tasting not much unlike it... [but it] helpeth, as they say, digestion." So here comes our Catholic priests, who want to ban this horrid devil brew.

They give a cup of coffee to Pope Clement VIII who's reputed to say:

"Why, this Satan's drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the the infidels have exclusive use of it.  We shall fool Satan by baptizing it and making it a truly Christian beverage."

And who can argue with that?!


For a truly Christian beverage that fool's the devil himself... come see us at

You'll be glad you did...

And Satan will wish you hadn't.

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