The following was quite a helpful thought to me a few weeks ago, when I didn't want to obey the Lord.
I was harsh toward my wife, and I simply didn't want to apologize. I felt I was right, and I was a little bitter - in my flesh I felt perfectly vindicated... Yet:
"Seek no place before God or man except that of servant. That is your work - your one purpose and prayer. Humiliation is the only ladder to honor in God's kingdom. Just as water seeks and fills the lowest place, so the moment God finds the creature abased and empty, His glory and power will flow in to exalt and bless... He that humbles himself, shall be exalted."
-- Andrew Murray, "Humility"
I knew what was right... to apologize and to love... but I didn't WANT to.
And I fully realize that bitterness in my heart was tantamount to me complaining/indicting God for the circumstances He's put me in... yet there it was nonetheless - bitterness of heart.
But in reading the next morning, I re-understood something... Jesus didn't want to die either... "May this cup pass from Me"... Who wants to die to self? Who wants to carry around their own instrument of death?... but... "As the Father has called, so I do.."
We have a new love, a love for Someone greater than ourselves... and we have promises that God "resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
So when you're struggling to WANT to obey... look to Jesus.
None could be raised higher in glory than Christ, because no one else has been brought lower. He's worth following and He will soothe a hurting and bitter heart.
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If there's ever anything I can do for you... just ask: Will@ReformedRoasters.com